Blog Archives

Taking a survey vs. being concerned

Are you okay?

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•I really didn’t want details, I was just being polite.
•It doesn’t really matter I just needed a favor
•I don’t really have time to listen so hurry up.
•Oh that’s too much, I didn’t expect you to have problems.

Sound familiar?

Probably not, but you certainly feel like that’s what they mean when you’re snubbed after being asked, don’t you?

Time to recognize, honor and be a good steward of your real friends. They may not always say what you want to hear, or be able to do what you want them to do; but you have decided they are your friend, mentor, coach, confident, etc. for a reason. Don’t waste your time looking for a shoulder or ear with folks you don’t know and/or don’t trust.

Let’s discuss it… http://xeeme.com/Andréa Raquel

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#LivingSugarFree Together

Shared from #LivingSugarFree #Leadership #FamilyValues
If you’ve got a family, be grateful and do right by them. No matter how your family unit is designed let it be a loving example to the world starting with you.
Don’t chase $$ claiming it’s all for them. Then ignore the why, by working yourself to death or neglecting family. You’ve got a team and you can’t nurture it by throwing money at it. Set an example… (more).

Focus on family

Quacks Like A Duck

Shared from What Makes An Eagle Quack Like A Duck?

There’s a not so fine line between being nice and being naive when making decisions about your friends, partners and social circles.

Some folks deceive themselves into thinking that they are being nice when they carry on with relationships that are unfruitful and unproductive. But when you refuse to walk away from someone that you know lacks integrity… (more).

 

Birds of a feather…

Let’s discuss it… http://xeeme.com/AndréaRaquel

When To Mind Your Own Business

#LivingSugarFree of Complainers:

Don’t be deceived by spirits of discontent, strife, and bitterness.

Have you ever made the mistake of trying to break up a fight between two angry lovers? You probably still have the physical and/oremotional scars to remind you.

The same thing happens when you get between God and his ungrateful children. You know the ones, no matter how things change or improve, if it’s not their way, they are not happy. People need to learn their own lessons… When you get in the way you become their scapegoat; helping them avoid the actual lesson.

My advice:

  1. Let complainers complain.
  2. Don’t offer advice, or solutions unless they ask…
  3. And if you value your peace, by all means don’t point out their misery.

If you get blind sided in the name of trying to help or cheer someone up, just remember this additional advice.

  1. Don’t take it personal and write off the attack as a great lesson in wisdom… you probably won’t forget again because, it’s true for you too. Experience is the best teacher.
  2. Listen to Pharrell’s Happy song to shake it off and refocus your energy.

Let’s discuss it… http://xeeme.com/AndréaRaquel

Bullying Is Not A Personality Style It’s Bad Manners

#LivingSugarFree
Do you know the difference between your habits and your personality?

Have you developed your personality beyond your relationships? Who are you when no one else is around? Once you’re comfortable with that you, being yourself in relationships and being accepted by others will come naturally without effort.

When you make a plea to be accepted as you are, be sure you’re not dumping the extra wait of unecessary criticism on people. Being a bully, playing the dozens or otherwise making fun of people is not a personality trait. It’s a bad habit. You are the one who is not accepting of others if you make fun of them or constantly boss them around. Allowing other people to think for themselves is acceptance. Further more you are creating a hostile environment when you cause others to walk on eggshells for fear of ridicule. You don’t get to tell the person being ostracized to get over it. You are violating their human rights whether your comments violate their civil rights or not.

Yes this is a free country and you can say whatever you want. But people don’t have to like it or you. Freedom of speech goes outside the relm of relationship. If you want to do whatever the law will allow than you aren’t really concerned with social acceptance and so just be prepared for the consequences. (See this blog on bullying for more http://wp.me/p43r2l-O)

Let’s discuss it… http://xeeme.com/AndréaRaquel

You’re Not #LivingSugarFree If You’re A Bully

#TurnUpTuesday #BulliesandHaters get no energy. This post can help lots of folks reading it right now in various situations, once you figure out which shoe fits.

No one knows if I’m talking to you but you! If you get mad, I’m definitely talking to you. image

If you are a client or friend and get emotional, start calling names and twisting my words, I stop talking. No human or the spirits tormenting them, will ever steal my joy!

To a logical person (logic is an actual discipline, don’t throw the word around loosely), your point does not become more valid because you add, we talked about you and Johnny agrees.” LOL!!! If anything your opinion is now less valid.

There are laws of debate and logic (Google it, I’m not teaching that lesson here) like everything else. Getting caught up in your own feelings does not make the other person wrong or evil. Watch your mouth lest you reveal your own underlying frustrations, hate and jealousy.

My ability to remain calm and strategically raise my voice when physically threatened comes from dealing with bullies. I’m good at it, from years of survival and many more years of learning how to rise above it. Read the book Blink, if you want to learn to not judge intent or integrity by tone of voice. Many people get angry because I talk directly to them regardless of what comes out of their mouth… it’s because I’m always listening, even when you forget to clean it up.

At the point you threaten someone, attack them, lie on them, etc. your feelings are not my priority. If you want me to care about your feelings and not show you my pitbull skills, don’t try to bully me or anyone else around me. I’m true to my brand, beliefs and philosophy so I’m consistant with my words. I don’t hold grudges because I address issues immediately. I am the Sugar Free Coach, all the time. It’s not just a brand, the brand is who I am.

Don’t claim to learn from me and think I’m logical, wise and a social entrepreneur and then call me names because I stepped on your toes. That’s my job as a coach… and I’m faithful with it on your worst days and best. If you can’t receive it from me on your bad days (which many folks don’t even admit to having), with my reputation of “trust, honesty and getting to the root of a matter,” who do you receive it from? No one?

This behavior is sadly typical and if you act like this, you probably do it to everyone at some point. They just don’t say anything because you’re a bully. Calling names to get your point across, judging others who aren’t like you, and bullying are never okay… whether you realize you do it, or are conscious of it, or not. Sadly what you have done is condition your loved ones to take it from everyone else, possibly stunting their growth and success, as well as your own in the long run.

Your only solution…
Stop trying to tell others what to do or how to be, unless they ask (avoid even the subtleties of sucking your teeth, rolling your eyes, being smug, or plotting your revenge just because they didn’t do it your way or please you)… and if you’re around me, don’t ask me to help unless you’re ready to receive (this also means gossiping, complaining around me, sounding annoyed or otherwise going on and on about what irritates you when others are working on solutions). I mean you can do whatever you want, but you can’t control my response.

News flash, life is tough for me too. Only I don’t piss and moan about it, or refuse to act because it’s too hard. However I do refuse to entertain drama while rising above it. That’s a no brainer. Have you ever tried to help someone solve a problem and suddenly you become the center of their frustration? This is a common disfunction… caused by blaming others for internal issues.

If I give solutions or try to reason with you and you don’t receive it, I will shut up… unless you take it as an opportunity to attack me, lie, try and bully me, call me names, or say I think I know everything. I will address why you are in my presence, pretending to think I’m wise counsel, using me as such when it suits you, and waiting for an opportunity to say otherwise?

I know why, but I’d rather give you the opportunity to self discover than to call you a hater. If self discovery is not an option, I remove myself and let you self destruct. It’s all good if we’re not birds of a feather. You don’t have to agree with me, or talk to me, cause I’m not a bully. See how that works?

…and yes this too is #LivingSugarFree

Let’s discuss it… http://xeeme.com/AndréaRaquel