Category Archives: Coaching

#HumpdayShift Challenge

Try #LivingSugarFree from non-essentials one day a week. Start with the thing you think you can’t give up (coffee addicts, this means go a whole day without and be nice anyhow, just as you would expect a crack addict to do). *Air, water, nutrition, and love (expressed not received) are essential.

Read more on my website…

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Let’s discuss it… http://xeeme.com/AndréaRaquel

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#LivingSugarFree Together

Shared from #LivingSugarFree #Leadership #FamilyValues
If you’ve got a family, be grateful and do right by them. No matter how your family unit is designed let it be a loving example to the world starting with you.
Don’t chase $$ claiming it’s all for them. Then ignore the why, by working yourself to death or neglecting family. You’ve got a team and you can’t nurture it by throwing money at it. Set an example… (more).

Focus on family

Quacks Like A Duck

Shared from What Makes An Eagle Quack Like A Duck?

There’s a not so fine line between being nice and being naive when making decisions about your friends, partners and social circles.

Some folks deceive themselves into thinking that they are being nice when they carry on with relationships that are unfruitful and unproductive. But when you refuse to walk away from someone that you know lacks integrity… (more).

 

Birds of a feather…

Let’s discuss it… http://xeeme.com/AndréaRaquel

When To Mind Your Own Business

#LivingSugarFree of Complainers:

Don’t be deceived by spirits of discontent, strife, and bitterness.

Have you ever made the mistake of trying to break up a fight between two angry lovers? You probably still have the physical and/oremotional scars to remind you.

The same thing happens when you get between God and his ungrateful children. You know the ones, no matter how things change or improve, if it’s not their way, they are not happy. People need to learn their own lessons… When you get in the way you become their scapegoat; helping them avoid the actual lesson.

My advice:

  1. Let complainers complain.
  2. Don’t offer advice, or solutions unless they ask…
  3. And if you value your peace, by all means don’t point out their misery.

If you get blind sided in the name of trying to help or cheer someone up, just remember this additional advice.

  1. Don’t take it personal and write off the attack as a great lesson in wisdom… you probably won’t forget again because, it’s true for you too. Experience is the best teacher.
  2. Listen to Pharrell’s Happy song to shake it off and refocus your energy.

Let’s discuss it… http://xeeme.com/AndréaRaquel

Coffee Is Not The Devil

As the old folks used to say,

A hit dog will holler.

You can stop sending hate mail now…

I did not say coffee is bad! I didn’t say don’t drink it. I am not a fan, but I may have a cup every blue moon. Black coffee is great for congestion and mocha latte is my sweet cheat. Coffee is not the devil.

What I said was if you’re a coach, therapist, advisor, whatever type of leader who is in the business of telling people how to live better… maybe stop telling the world you can’t function without coffee while telling others how to be positive, eat right, be successful, healthy, get a job, an education or let go of addiction or any other problems. You can’t teach what you don’t know. Apparently you don’t know how to function without coffee.

You are the blind leading the blind because you are addicted to caffeine and or sugar. “No one’s perfect and everyone has their vice, ways to cope, home remedies, etc.” I hear you and agree the sooner that is realized socially the better. But offering tips and telling people who aren’t like you how to live, think and act is the crux of the issue. The addiction is the line… “can’t function without” was my focus. You don’t have to like what I like, I don’t have to be a “coffee drinker,” a sugar addict, a crackhead or have permed hair to understand.

Everyone would have a job if they thought like you. Right? They’d have wealth if they were more positive. They aren’t successful because they don’t know the Law of Attraction, they can’t lose weight unless they train like you and they must all not eat GMO or be duped by the political agenda of government…. But meanwhile you can’t say any of this until you’ve had your coffee. Maybe every crime, miscellaneous infraction in Hollywood, job loss, and politician you don’t like just didn’t get to have any coffee… If it’s an excuse for you why not them?

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#LivingSugarFree is not a diet.

It is also an epic PR fail for the hypocrite, it’s bad marketing… I and surely others don’t trust your wisdom now. How can I follow your advice if I don’t add coffee? That was your free tip because I care. Your welcome.

I stepped on some toes of folks near and far… Some very close to me, but they know better. I don’t mince words and I don’t need anyone to translate. If you want to set yourself apart from the foolishness, talk about things that no one wants to talk about, least of all you.
Thank you.

Let’s discuss it… http://xeeme.com/AndréaRaquel

Give Your Emotions A Swift Kick

Have you seen that commercial where the lady is lugging her depreasion around, even after medication. Then they suggest she needs a second medicine to really control it. Seriously? I think it’s time to admit, the medication may not be working.
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Low self-esteem is a sign of self centeredness and deception. Not in all cases, but in many situations people are caught up in their own problems, with no time or care for those around them. Then they wonder why they feel alienated. If you only go around people when you need something, never accept invitations to spend time, and only call to complain; the person you’re dumping on and pulling from will eventually follow the advice they are probably giving to you. To surround themselves with people who uplift them and pour into them rather than those who only take.

Are you a taker? Which is not the same thing as receiving. When someone gives to you freely as in unsolicited advice, gifts, or a position and you have a hard time receiving you’re probably a taker who only wants what you want when you want it. All other gifts are received as a burden.

There is an epidemic of rushing around and being a slave to life while complaining about having no time. You are either long on money or you’re long on time. If you have neither you need to get a clue because something is seriously wrong with your situation and you’re basically a slave. Since slavery has been outlawed, you are choosing to remain in bondage for comfort sake, so quit your complaining.

If you continuously complain about your situation to others who are no better off, it’s probably out of deception. Either you want to dissuade them from asking you for something, you are covering up some skeletons or you feel guilty about living in your comfortable bubble so you make it seem worse. Own your mask or it will eventually be mistaken for your character.

This is good advice for you whether you are rich or poor; old or young; black or white; male or female; or any other excuse you can think of why it should not pertain to you.

If you can’t figure it out, ask.

Let’s discuss it… http://xeeme.com/AndréaRaquel

You Don’t Really Believe All That Positive Motivation Stuff, Do You?

If you believe that everyone should embrace their weirdness, don’t accept limitations, stand up for what’s good and true, and only focus on the positive…

How come so many of you spend so much time downplaying or flat out insulting those who are different? Then trying to get me and other people to tone it down, don’t ask too many questions, don’t set the record straight, don’t take it personal when cultural lies are perpetuated, or point out when even you have said something totally offensive or untrue? Freedom of speach was meant to protect us and the truth; not to be an aid to bullying, prejudice and discrimination.

Not guilty? Well did you tell your click that they were being bullies when they did it or just watch? I’ve only seen one man display this type of courage. Now he’s an outsider, oh I noticed.
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It’s an honest question and I know I’ve struck a nerve because according to Klout I’m in the top 10% of social media users. Now if that’s the case then my experience could be perceived as normal or better than average. If I get attacked by influencers who should know better, then how many other people like me experience the same thing or worse from your followers? Sadly the influencers are teaching their audiences how to keep up the same old exclusivity, racial stereotypes, and passive aggressive discussions that have plagued corporate America since integration. White women and minority males are among the worst culprits (trying to fit in at all costs)… But this doesn’t exclude sexist comments.

I was part of the Army’s initiative on sensitivity training, I’ve helped with diversity in schools and corporations… I think I know by now the symptoms and conditions that cause a hostile work environment. Guess what, this is our work environment… especially for those of you claiming to be brand builders, managers and ambassadors. Would you share porn or racist cartoons at a networking event in your office?

How can you be quick to tell someone who doesn’t look like you and has completely different experiences that they couldn’t possibly know what they’re talking about in a very insulting manner unless you have a slight case of bias? Don’t want to admit it? That’s your prerogative and just means you’re weak, defensive and not ready to be all that you can be.

Leaders help others grow by embracing their own lessons. We don’t know we need a lesson until we get it… So how are you so certain you don’t need one? How do you know racism, if you’re not the one being targeted unless you listen?

The older I get, the more I remember and notice how much has not really changed. If I do nothing, then I am no leader and not living my purpose. I am not an activist, lobbyist, or a political fighter. I simply address issues that come into my lane to address. I believe those were given to me, to do my part. If you can’t take it from me, as one of the least racially conscious people I know, you have serious issues and are perpetuating the problem.

Being a passive aggressive bully that makes people around you and across social media afraid to speak up for truth against injustice, discrimination and unfair treatment is more disgusting than being a flat out racist. You pretend to care but make the way clear for violence and atrocities to be committed while trying to convince the person who deals with it that it’s in their mind; and who do they think they are to ask for better? If you truly want to be a person who avoids conflict, stay out of it and mind your own business if that’s all you care about.

Actively trying to deny the rights of a person who is different than you from expressing the reality of their situation, perspective and experience, plain and simple disqualifies you from being a coach, leader, mentor, or authority of any kind. If I see it I will make sure you don’t get any extra influence points off me.

Oh, who am I? I’m the first at many things, degreed online and off (for you haters), an infantry soldier, a northerner and southerner, born abroad, with mixed ancestry, friends of all races and nationalities, excelled at many great jobs and walked away to start a community organization… and I’m a brown skinned Native American female over 40 who truly believes in embracing your weirdness and freedom for all. I’m qualified to speak on the subject… and coach on it. Don’t know where to begin? Ask for help, it’s worth it.

Let’s discuss it… http://xeeme.com/AndréaRaquel

#LivingSugarFree for Christians

Many church folks focus on legalism because it’s easier than focusing on love. God is more concerned with your hate than he is with your hem line. If we obey every single commandment except love, we have failed.

Think about it. The hard thing is dealing with humans. How are you obeying God’s command to love???

If life is 20% what happens and 80% how we respond to it… well retaliation, pay back, revenge, or otherwise reacting to being wronged is what really holds you back. Let it go! And by let it go I don’t mean pretend it didn’t bother you and ignore the culprit. On the inside you are seething. I mean let it go by seeing the good in the situation as an opportunity for you and/or your offenders to learn and grow.

Deuteronomy 30:16 NIV

For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

If I offend you, bless your heart ’cause I don’t care. If you offend me I’m going to love you anyway, ’cause I don’t care. I seek God’s approval not man’s.
Get the lesson on how you may be sabotaging your happiness here…

Let’s discuss it… http://xeeme.com/AndréaRaquel

#ThrowbackThursday Before The Internet

I thought it would be funny. Silence, the sound of not hearing my opinion, getting shout outs or feeling the #LivingSugarFree love oozing from the other side of the world (as in before the Internet).

I was 35 in 2007 when I set out to build a brand online. Before that I had only done desktop publishing, worked with company clouds and communicated with tech savvy friends via chat. Bankers were not encouraged to use the Internet for business beyond research. Even in as an Army Public Affairs Specialist my work was within the Intranet.

Now a simple light hearted post has turned into a blog. Because as a researcher I had to document the experience. I make a point of not having a mobile phone surgically attached to me, so I am perhaps less likely to go long periods of time being totally unplugged. I never feel the need to unplug because I only ever feel semi-plugged in. I’m also a bit of an introvert so digital communication is my comfort zone.
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Of course I did my normal unplug, peeking here and there after the third hour. Then I put on a Netflix movie (via Internet) because I can only focus with background noise or when multitasking. After realizing what was going on, I started this blog (via Internet because I wasn’t going to write it then upload, that’s an extra step I eliminated long ago). It occured to me, I often unplug from social media but unplugging from the Internet totally, that’s another story. It was a real challenge because I’m so connected and efficient.

It just reinforced my theory that it is all about the people, community, society… not the technolog y itself. The media puts the focus on technology as do the experts and industry folks selling hardware, apps and cloud space. But the reason I had trouble unplugging is because I had not intended to unplug from humanity today. I have those days and ironically they are not Internet free either because those are the best days to dig deep into technology tasks.

It really wasn’t a throwback to before the Internet after all (before somedia maybe) and I hope I never really have to. Is technology making us less social? I can only speak for myself, but the answer is a resounding no. The last 12 hours of silence is how social I was before the Internet… cricket, cricket, cricket.

Let’s discuss it… http://xeeme.com/AndréaRaquel

Bullying Is Not A Personality Style It’s Bad Manners

#LivingSugarFree
Do you know the difference between your habits and your personality?

Have you developed your personality beyond your relationships? Who are you when no one else is around? Once you’re comfortable with that you, being yourself in relationships and being accepted by others will come naturally without effort.

When you make a plea to be accepted as you are, be sure you’re not dumping the extra wait of unecessary criticism on people. Being a bully, playing the dozens or otherwise making fun of people is not a personality trait. It’s a bad habit. You are the one who is not accepting of others if you make fun of them or constantly boss them around. Allowing other people to think for themselves is acceptance. Further more you are creating a hostile environment when you cause others to walk on eggshells for fear of ridicule. You don’t get to tell the person being ostracized to get over it. You are violating their human rights whether your comments violate their civil rights or not.

Yes this is a free country and you can say whatever you want. But people don’t have to like it or you. Freedom of speech goes outside the relm of relationship. If you want to do whatever the law will allow than you aren’t really concerned with social acceptance and so just be prepared for the consequences. (See this blog on bullying for more http://wp.me/p43r2l-O)

Let’s discuss it… http://xeeme.com/AndréaRaquel