You’re Not #LivingSugarFree If You’re A Bully
Posted by TSE
#TurnUpTuesday #BulliesandHaters get no energy. This post can help lots of folks reading it right now in various situations, once you figure out which shoe fits.
If you are a client or friend and get emotional, start calling names and twisting my words, I stop talking. No human or the spirits tormenting them, will ever steal my joy!
To a logical person (logic is an actual discipline, don’t throw the word around loosely), your point does not become more valid because you add, we talked about you and Johnny agrees.” LOL!!! If anything your opinion is now less valid.
There are laws of debate and logic (Google it, I’m not teaching that lesson here) like everything else. Getting caught up in your own feelings does not make the other person wrong or evil. Watch your mouth lest you reveal your own underlying frustrations, hate and jealousy.
My ability to remain calm and strategically raise my voice when physically threatened comes from dealing with bullies. I’m good at it, from years of survival and many more years of learning how to rise above it. Read the book Blink, if you want to learn to not judge intent or integrity by tone of voice. Many people get angry because I talk directly to them regardless of what comes out of their mouth… it’s because I’m always listening, even when you forget to clean it up.
At the point you threaten someone, attack them, lie on them, etc. your feelings are not my priority. If you want me to care about your feelings and not show you my pitbull skills, don’t try to bully me or anyone else around me. I’m true to my brand, beliefs and philosophy so I’m consistant with my words. I don’t hold grudges because I address issues immediately. I am the Sugar Free Coach, all the time. It’s not just a brand, the brand is who I am.
Don’t claim to learn from me and think I’m logical, wise and a social entrepreneur and then call me names because I stepped on your toes. That’s my job as a coach… and I’m faithful with it on your worst days and best. If you can’t receive it from me on your bad days (which many folks don’t even admit to having), with my reputation of “trust, honesty and getting to the root of a matter,” who do you receive it from? No one?
This behavior is sadly typical and if you act like this, you probably do it to everyone at some point. They just don’t say anything because you’re a bully. Calling names to get your point across, judging others who aren’t like you, and bullying are never okay… whether you realize you do it, or are conscious of it, or not. Sadly what you have done is condition your loved ones to take it from everyone else, possibly stunting their growth and success, as well as your own in the long run.
Your only solution…
Stop trying to tell others what to do or how to be, unless they ask (avoid even the subtleties of sucking your teeth, rolling your eyes, being smug, or plotting your revenge just because they didn’t do it your way or please you)… and if you’re around me, don’t ask me to help unless you’re ready to receive (this also means gossiping, complaining around me, sounding annoyed or otherwise going on and on about what irritates you when others are working on solutions). I mean you can do whatever you want, but you can’t control my response.
News flash, life is tough for me too. Only I don’t piss and moan about it, or refuse to act because it’s too hard. However I do refuse to entertain drama while rising above it. That’s a no brainer. Have you ever tried to help someone solve a problem and suddenly you become the center of their frustration? This is a common disfunction… caused by blaming others for internal issues.
If I give solutions or try to reason with you and you don’t receive it, I will shut up… unless you take it as an opportunity to attack me, lie, try and bully me, call me names, or say I think I know everything. I will address why you are in my presence, pretending to think I’m wise counsel, using me as such when it suits you, and waiting for an opportunity to say otherwise?
I know why, but I’d rather give you the opportunity to self discover than to call you a hater. If self discovery is not an option, I remove myself and let you self destruct. It’s all good if we’re not birds of a feather. You don’t have to agree with me, or talk to me, cause I’m not a bully. See how that works?
…and yes this too is #LivingSugarFree
Let’s discuss it… http://xeeme.com/AndréaRaquel
About TSEThe Social Entrepreneur: Making the best use of every moment of my life. Bx=SugarFree
Posted on November 19, 2013, in Coaching, Collaboration, Community, Lifestyle, Management, Social, Trust and tagged anger, bullies, communication, friendship, frustration, growth, haters, jealousy, logic, mental health, relationships, self reflection, success, teams. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.